1. tanyshark:

    if you date me i will probably wake you up for sex at 4am

    sorry

    (via just-hold-on-til-may)

     

  2. Team put my hand under ya skirt and play with ya pussy at the dinner table

     

  3. o-k-compooper:

    souschen:

    i think instead of the woman taking her husband’s name when they get married or doing the hyphenated thing

    couples should just smash their last names together

    so like if a Smith married a Grabowski you could be Smabowski or Grabith or Grasmithski

    and then as the generations go on the names just get more and more ridiculous

    why aren’t we doing this

    (via just-hold-on-til-may)

     
  4. fortsam:

    When he didn’t drink the pineapple juice..

    (Source: cockbarf, via just-hold-on-til-may)

     
  5. snatch-comix:

    imparalyzedbyitt:

    do people think this is like really romantic or something he can’t hold her because he has fucking scissors for hands

    no people think it’s really fucking sad ‘cause he loves her and cant hold her because he has SCISSORS FOR HANDS

    (Source: patrickmasturbateman, via just-hold-on-til-may)

     
  6. purr-purrr:

    ssj-potato:

    purr-purrr:

    My pussy is winking at chu suckas

    my dad just saw this on my computer screen. RIP me, goodbye.

    Uh-oh

    (via dusty-princess)

     
  7.  

  8. clannyphantom:

    logging onto tumblr near autumn image

    (via dusty-princess)

     
  9. thepureskin:

    hautvousetes:

    Possibly the nicest tits I’ve ever seen?

    possibly, yeah

    (via dusty-princess)

     
  10. (Source: lanafan, via dusty-princess)

     
  11.  
  12. (Source: love-butts, via dusty-princess)

     
  13. did-you-kno:

    Two doctors on a British Airways flight performed a surgery on a woman with a collapsed lung by using a urinary catheter, a wire hanger, a half-filled bottle of Evian, and some 5-star brandy from first class. They not only saved her life, but she was back to normal within 15 minutes. Source

     
  14. so-personal:

    everything personal

    (Source: shibaconfessions2, via vertikoko)

     
  15.